23 years ago my little sister was born.

God has been writing her story ever since. Today she leaves on a plane to depart for Germany for the second time in a year. She has a passion for God and has seen wonderous things by His doing.

I am having these uncertain emotions taking over my heart today. In way I am simply proud and overjoyed by the fact that she has found her true calling in the God's work. But how am I to protect her heart and see her grow. I guess it is the protective older sister lion coming over me... She has shown me how to live without fear or anxiety something we are both very familiar with. It has also brought out my selfish side as well. seeing her be able to travel the world and being able to let God lead her in ways I could only imagine.

I am not saying that I do not love my life. I did all the things that I thought to be right for my life.  I graduated high school, then graduated college... got a "big girl" job as an x-ray technologist and was married to the love of my life... I would not change who I was or who I am ... I am just finding it difficult to find the way God wants to lead me...

Some day I will live and love freely.